


Cracks in the Glass

by aurons_fan



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 11:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2772083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurons_fan/pseuds/aurons_fan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madoka Kaname is an enigma, Sayaka decides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracks in the Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chaoticrandomness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticrandomness/gifts).



> I was asked to write about their time in heaven and this is my take on it! I hope you like it!
> 
> Also, there are references to the movie Rebellion Story, but I tried not to spoil anything!

Madoka Kaname is an enigma, Sayaka decides.

She’s relaxing in the rest room in Madoka’s castle that looks as grand as any castle possibly can. The castle itself is tucked away in a comfortable aspect of heaven, allowing those inside to see all of the girls, former Magical Girls, spending their the rest of their days eternal bliss.

Just thinking that sentence is enough to make Sayaka’s head spin, so she twirls her sword, glancing out of a window.

Sayaka sees Madoka as both the girl whose hair ribbons she gently teased were how she was getting all the boys, and the powerful goddess descending from the heavens, the one who created the Law of the Cycle. Sayaka supposes it's a strange way to look at Madoka, as though her reflection in a glass is cracked and both sides are showing a different image, but Sayaka tries to push her own personal feelings aside. It's not as though they aren't friends (or maybe they never were, in this strange rewritten world Madoka has created), but the memories she has with Madoka makes it so odd when others walk nearby her or praise her for protecting them. Madoka isn’t a goddess worthy of being praised. She’s… Madoka.

So instead, Sayaka takes a middle road and decides to work alongside her. It’s apparent to see that working full time, jumping from past to present is enough to exhaust anyone at full capacity, and considering how few breaks Madoka has given herself, Sayaka’s guessing that she left full capacity behind a long time ago.

It’s not like they have time to be friends like before. They don’t have time to stop by the mall and grab burgers or catch up on gossip or tease Hitomi over exerting herself because …

Well, because she’s dead and Madoka’s a goddess. Sayaka supposes she’ll never get over it. Maybe she’ll get over Kyosuke being so dense and not realizing how she felt and picking Hitomi over her (though, even if one took out what Sayaka ended up, it was never really a fair contest. He’d be a fool not to go to her). But death and godhood? How could anyone get over that?

Either way, there’s going to be a new group of coming in within the hour. Madoka manages to contact them and bring them all up in such timely, orderly fashion. It’s kind of creepy.

Even though it’s not Sayaka’s job to usher in the new young women into their new home, she climbs to her feet and heads to the entrance of the castle.

When she gets outside, she sees Madoka, practically (or actually?) floating along, her long pink hair gently swaying in the breeze as a group of young women from all backgrounds walk behind her.

“I’m so glad you could join us,” Madoka says to the young women, her voice booming over the crowd. “Welcome to your new home.”

Maybe it’s because Sayaka’s heard this a million times before, or maybe it’s the fact that she still sees Madoka as this tiny, adorable quiet one instead of this all powerful goddess, but hearing Madoka give her speech to the girls entering heaven always makes Sayaka grin a bit.

Madoka waves them off to some of her underlings, who organize the young women and lead them to their eternal homes, and she walks (strides, glides, possibly both) towards Sayaka. As Madoka approaches, Sayaka can see the exhaustion etched in her face and she frowns, leaning on her sword.

“You sure you can’t take a break?” She asks, as quietly as she can, but Madoka only sighs and leads them into the castle.

She approaches a window and looks outside. Sayaka follows her gaze to see the new young women and girls, faces lit with the joy of not becoming witches (would they even remember what witches were?) and feels something cold in her stomach.

“You know, it wasn’t your fault you became a witch,” Madoka says, turning to face Sayaka. Her amber eyes always throw Sayaka for a moment and her stomach twists again.

Sayaka attempts to squish down the feeling and plasters on a smile. “I wouldn’t have been, if I’d only listened to you,” she says, feeling the grin tug on the sides of her face. Her memories of being a witch are hazy but if she focuses, she can feel the despair and the pain and the power. She tries not to think of it too often.

“No,” Madoka says, sighing again. “If we hadn’t been tricked. That’s why I can’t stop, not now, not ever. Even if I’ll never see… anyone again.”

She stares outside, eyes shimmering, and Sayaka fears that Madoka might be as close to tears as she’s ever been. But considering Madoka’s new status, showing any form of weakness might upset others, and Sayaka knows she won’t do that.

 “I’ll go,” she offers, moving to lay a reassuring hand on Madoka’s shoulder. Sayaka stops right before touching her, and clasps her hands behind her back. “I’m supposed to do a sweep of Earth, or well,” she says with a grin, “ _You’re_ supposed to but you have enough on your plate and I just thought…”

“You want to see Kyosuke?” Sayaka bites her lip and Madoka smiles and faces her, any trace of sadness completely gone. “I heard he might have a concert coming up soon.”

“That’s not it,” Sayaka says fidgeting slightly. Madoka only tilts her head and Sayaka scowls to herself. “I just… I thought it would be nice to check up on them, you know? Mami, Homura, and…” She pauses, ignores the dropping feeling in her stomach, and says, “Kyoko.”

It’s not like she can’t say the girl’s name, but to go from almost murdering you to sacrificing herself for you, and to only remember bits and pieces of it? She almost feels embarrassed, ashamed, and… maybe something else. Sayaka lowers her head.

“I just thought it would be nice to see them. But I’ll definitely drop by your family too!” She grins. “Little Tatsyua was looking so much bigger last time I saw him!”

Madoka’s shoulders drop ever so slightly and Sayaka snaps her mouth shut.

“Was he?” Madoka says, a fond look crossing her face. “Well, off you go then. And please,” she says, raising a hand out to Sayaka, moments away from racing off. “Check up on the wraiths? I don’t feel comfortable with incubators like Kyubey still hanging around. Who knows if they’ve found a way to go around my wish already.”

Sayaka nods and, with a flick of her hand, creates a portal and disappears.

Madoka takes one last look out onto the green, lush landscape of heaven, before shaking her head, creating a portal, and disappearing into a new time.

As beautiful as the building is, she barely has time to stop and breathe. Not when potential witches all over the timelines are in danger of appearing.

\--

Sayaka had spent what felt like hours staring at Madoka’s family, watching them play with Tatsuya in the park. Being in the same vicinity of the family gives her this warm and comforted feeling, and Sayaka watches with a kind of dopy smile on her face.

Sometimes, when she takes this trip, she gets to see Homura sitting alongside Madoka’s family, but today, she wasn’t there. Not all that unusual, Sayaka considers, before hopping off to her next location.

Mami sits in her apartment, legs folded politely under her while Kyoko sits cross-legged across from her and all but scarfs down some cake. Sayaka feels something tugging deep inside her. This girl, exuding such an uncaring nature, had been willing to sacrifice her life to stop Sayaka’s witch from killing Madoka and Homura.

Or so Madoka had later told her. She didn’t really remember much from her time as a witch, except for this enormous feeling of despair and hatred and anger and-

Kyoko’s sharp laugh pulls Sayaka from the pit she had almost willingly flung herself back into and Sayaka balances on a ledge outside Mami’s window and just listens. They’re talking about the wraiths and how Homura keeps going off on her own and fighting without telling a soul, but just being able to hear Kyoko’s aggravated jabs and Mami’s soothing tones always made her feel more at home.

After a while, Sayaka hops off the ledge, feeling content.

She pokes around town, feeling odd to be able to walk through crowds without being seen, and half debates snagging a burger off a cart (which would be _wrong_ and it’s not like she can actually feel hunger, but it’s the principle of the matter) when she sees Hitomi and Kyosuke walking by, hand in hand.

Sayaka’s heart clenches and she almost hides, but at the last moment she remembers they can’t even see her. She squeezes her eyes shut, and with terrible judgment, she follows them.

She’s not quite sure why. It would be easier to just continue to accept that she wasn’t good enough for Kyousuke but she apparently likes pain so when they go to that burger place that Sayaka, Madoka, and Hitomi used to eat at, Sayaka sits at a table nearby.

Hitomi is babbling something about a tea ceremony and Kyosuke is looking blankly off into the distance, and Sayaka was the paranoid type, she would think that he was staring at _her_. Madoka had assured her that regular humans wouldn’t be able to so easily see them, so she has to be fine.

Either way, it certainly feels like Kyousuke is staring her down and she fidgets. She’s about to give up on this whole thing and leave, to back to check out some wraiths for Madoka, Kyousuke turns and says, “Do you ever think about Sayaka?”

Both Sayaka and Hitomi stop. Sayaka’s heart clenches and Hitomi looks a little hurt.

“You weren’t listening to a thing I was saying, were you?” she says, and he bows his head.

“I was,” he admits, “but I dunno.” He turns back to where Sayaka is standing and she can tell he’s not looking at her. More like through her, but just the thought of him looking in the general direction is enough to freak her out. “She just popped in my mind and you guys were such good friends.” He shrugs, and lifts his hand, cured with Sayaka’s wish. “I just wish she could have seen my last performance.”

Hitomi smiles and lowers her head and Sayaka suddenly understands why she would have never even have been a match compared to Hitomi. Her grace and elegance and just over all presence makes even Sayaka flush a bit.

But after spending what feels like eons (but has probably only been a few months) by Madoka’s side, watching her formerly expressive friend holding her emotions in check, Sayaka can tell there’s an entire ocean of feelings Hitomi wants to express. Sadness, regret, and …guilt? Sayaka frowns, moving closer to the table.

“I’m sure she would have loved it,” Hitomi says, reaching to grab his hand. “I’m sure, after all the time she put in being by your side, she would have been so happy to see you happy. But to answer you, yes.” She lowers her head, and Sayaka feels that guilt emote even stronger. “She was one of my best friends and I miss her everyday.”

Kyosuke raises his eyes to meet hers. “One of? I thought it was just you and her?”

Hitomi blinks slowly, leaning back. “How strange. You’re right. I don’t even know who I was thinking of.”

Sayaka watches the two of them, smilgly sweetly at each other, and eventually has to turn away. They are perfect together, even if it hurts to admit it. She hugs herself, rubbing her arms to her sides, and turns, walking away.

She needs to check up on the wraiths for Madoka, anyway.

\--

“Sayaka!”

Sayaka turns from filling out her report from her trip to Earth (Madoka had said they weren’t necessary but Sayaka had countered that if Madoka wanted to know what was happening and since it takes her _ages_  to even read them) to see Madoka walking into the room with a small girl at her sides.

Sayaka sighed. Maybe she was going a little delusional, saying someone a few years younger was small. Death must have been the reason.

Madoka gently pushes the small girl next to her and the girl bites her lip, nervous. “Sayaka, I want you to meet someone,” she says, and Sayaka turns curious. “She’s… well, she was one of the witches that needed to be saved.”

Sayaka goes to ask why Madoka is being all weird about this one, because Madoka has always kept the former magic girls outside of her castle, but when she looks up and sees the girl, actually inspects her, it feels like a stone sinking in Sayaka’s belly.

The girl, hesitant at first, but with a nod from Madoka, covers her eyes and uncovers them to look exactly like the witch that Madoka and Sayaka witnesses snacking on Mami what feels like eons ago.

The pen in Sayaka’s hand snaps and the girl changes her eyes back, hiding behind Madoka’s grand dress.

“Why would you bring her here?!” Sayaka exclaims, tossing the remains of the pen aside. “Why would you bring that — thing here?!”

“She’s not a thing,” Madoka argues, her voice soft but firm. “She’s as much a witch as you were.”

All the fight goes out of Sayaka just like that. Her heart hurts, and there’s this strange flash of memory of Kyoko reaching up and smiling and promising that Sayaka wouldn’t die alone.

There’s a seat behind Sayaka, for which she’s glad, because she stumbles back and sits as quickly as possible. The girl looks up to Madoka but her face is fixed, hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“I’m going to need you to put aside the anger you may harbor towards her or her witch because we have a bigger mission,” Madoka says. “The wraiths…”

Sayaka waves a hand. “I was just writing my report. Apparently wraiths have seen a strange decline over the past few days.” She refuses to glance at the girl, focusing all her attention on Madoka.

Madoka nods. “I’m afraid Kyubey may have started to unravel the puzzle of the Law of the Cycles. Because we know exactly what happened before the law was put into place, I think it’s best we deal with it ourselves, instead of trying to ask someone else to help us.”

“Well, yeah that makes sense,” Sayaka says, nodding towards the young girl. “But what about her? We don’t need Mami’s murderer hanging out with us.” The words spill out before she can stop herself and she winces, glancing up to look at Madoka.

The girl stiffens and shrinks even further behind Madoka’s dress. Madoka’s eyes narrow and Sayaka freezes. Madoka never had become outwardly angry before, and especially not towards her. Aggrivated, annoyed, yes but never mad. But considering she was now a goddess, Sayaka didn’t want to take any chances.

“What harm she may have caused as a witch,” Madoka starts. Sayaka swears she can feel the hairs on the back of her neck crackling with energy. “Is of no concern. We need her power, and…” Madoka calms ever so slightly, suddenly looking more so like the Madoka of old instead of the goddess Sayaka has had to get used to. “Her connection with Mami should actually allow her to slip in undetected.”

Madoka turns to the girl and strokes her hair. Sayaka stands and steps next to her, frowning. “What are we going to have to do?” She says, reaching for her sword. “Jump in and kick some butt and save the day?”

She throws on that grin that’s become almost her staple nowadays. She will never not but uncomfortable with her friend being a goddess and her being dead and a whole lot of other things but she might as well fake it till she makes it.

Madoka shakes her head and approaches Sayaka. Sayaka stops for a moment and inspects her closely. Madoka stops short, and, seeming to allow herself to express nervousness for this moment and wrings her hands. “I just need you to trust me, okay?” she asks, her voice impossibly small. “I know that’s asking a lot, but we’re all we got here. And I really need you to believe me in this.”

Sayaka’s never heard her voice so… unsure ever since she became this goddess and when Sayaka looks her in the eye, she also realizes she’s never seen Madoka this nervous in a very long time. Even with her amber eyes staring at Sayaka, she can still sense _her_ Madoka hidden behind all those ruffles, and the thought of that makes her want to cry.

After a brief pause, Sayaka lowers her sword and reaches forward, catching Madoka in a tight hug. Madoka freezes just for a second and then relaxes into the hug, seemingly letting all of her tension out. The girl from behind peeks from behind her hands and tilts her head, confused, but the moment isn’t about her, so she hides her face again. She shouldn't even be here.

Granted, none of them should be here, in this beautiful, picturesque heaven asking magical girls to relax after sacrificing themselves for others. But yet, here they all are.

Sayaka leans back from Madoka, keeping her an arms length, and when they catch each other’s eyes, they laugh. Sayaka hadn’t heard Madoka sound so free and calm since she took up the role of goddess, and even though she knows it won’t be possible, she wishes her friend could stay as carefree as she is now.

But that will never happen.

Sayaka shakes her head and grins that can-do smile again, except this time it’s genuine. She throws a glance over to the other girl, who peeks through her fingers again at them, smiling slightly, before turning back to Madoka.

“So,” she says running a hand through Madoka’s long and luscious goddess hair. Madoka smiles. “What do you need me to do?”

Madoka’s smile widens. Sayaka knows even though they have a lot of work to do, having a friend at her side will make it all the more bearable.


End file.
